Senin, 23 Februari 2015
Ebook , by Nina W. Brown
Ebook , by Nina W. Brown
Ebook , by Nina W. Brown
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, by Nina W. Brown
Ebook , by Nina W. Brown
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Product details
File Size: 1249 KB
Print Length: 265 pages
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 2 edition (April 1, 2008)
Publication Date: April 1, 2008
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B004LLIHZY
Text-to-Speech:
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#54,048 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
The book does concisely lay out behaviors that children of the self-absorbed may be actively using that could be impacting or influencing their lives. Leading the reader to work on personal growth through exercises in self-realization and understanding self-absorption and that they may have issues with poorly defined boundaries and respect for others and self is important but I felt the exercises were extremely weak. For example," you may be treating others with poor respect... think about times you may have done this, and think about how you could do it differently next time". I just felt that the level of information for someone really wanting to grow was weak as was the advice for continuing to deal with parents. "Become a stronger person, then you wont be impacted". Certainly true, but the book was not helpful in providing tools and techniques in how to accomplish this important goal. Personal growth is a BIG topic and requires great depth of understanding to overcome shame, self-absorption, and seek healthy mature responses to life when you currently do not understand your reactions or how to go about change. Anyone truly on this path would really need to seek other sources to help them with the "how to..."
Wayyyyyyy to many "exercises". Not the right book if you already know your parents are self-absorbed and just want to learn how to handle them. This is more of a discovery exercise. Wish the book would just get straight to the point instead of making you walk down memory lane.Because of the questionnaires in almost every chapter, this is also not the book during your commute to work.
This utterly fascinating book makes so much clear about how self-absorbed and narcissistic parents shape our lives and cause us no end of feelings of rejection and of never being able to meet parental expectations. The self-absorbed are NEVER wrong and NEVER take responsibility for the consequences of their actions, blaming everything on someone else. They lie without even thinking about it and create highly feasible alternate realities that they can convince others are actually true.Bottom line: you can never "win" against a narcissist.
This book. This book is GREAT.And, I like leaving it on my dashboard of my car. :)It allows a person to heal without becoming too focused on identifying the maladies the self-absorbed ones suffer from. So much time spent on them already.
Wish I discovered this book years ago! I bought this book a month before my wedding, and I'm so glad that I did! My single biggest issue with the wedding was planning around my controlling mother. This book laid out special occasions perfectly, and the evening was a success! The months leading up to the event, and the event itself could have gone terribly wrong, had I not read this book. If you live your life under the thumb of a parent who just won't leave you alone, this book is for you! I found a sense of peace and relief in this. I was even able to learn about my sister, as according to Ms. Brown's descriptions, as children of a controlling parent we each took a different path in life. This helped me understand all the family dynamics a little bit better, and how to be a better parent myself. Only time will tell with the next generation, hope I didn't mess that one up too much!
I actually found another book on the same topic to be much more helpful: "Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self," by Elan Golom. "Children of the Self-Absorbed" was a bit too clinical for me and I found the endless questionnaires to be cumbersome and unhelpful, and since much of the book depends on you doing each one and then applying your answers and what you've learned from them to the next situation, I finally gave up and stopped reading. I'd strongly recommend Golom's book if you want a more helpful treatment of the subject.
I have read a lot of literature out there about parents who have mental disorders, however, this book has been the most helpful resource that I have ever come across. It doesn't waste time trying to diagnose your parent with a mental disorder, but rather, it just tackles all of the traits of a self-absorbed parent by grouping them into different categories. It quickly becomes clear if this is or isn't your parent. For example, two of the categories provided a spot-on description of my parent and from there, which was my starting point. It offers real solutions for dealing with your parent as well as identifying and resolving some unpleasant traits in yourself. Not only has it helped me on the road to a less stressful and heartbreaking relationship with my parent, but it has led on a journey to becoming my best self, which was more than I expected this book to do. I will not say that it replaces therapy, but if you find that you still need to seek professional help I think that this book will provide an incredibly valuable starting point saving some time and money in your recovery process. If I do choose to seek professional help, I think that as a result of this book it would be more productive and less overwhelming. If you think this book may describe your parent, read the free preview and if it seems to line up with what you experienced growing up, this will absolutely be worth every penny.
As long as you're not looking for a book on how to fix a narcissist, this is a great and helpful read. Short answer is, you cannot fix them, nor can a professional, so take steps to protect your life from them. It gives lots of useful tips for varying degrees of closeness with said self-absorbed person, and it applies to bosses, co-workers and neighbors too.Not too touchy-feely, but more of a realist's guide to surviving.
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